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Iowa is pretty laid-back when it comes to the gay scene. Most towns and cities have their own gay bar. In Sioux City, you can try your luck at Firehouse Bar. You don't have to throw yourself at men to get their attention. Just smile at them and see who smiles back. Dress to impress!
Making new queer friends takes time and happens when you least expect it. You can start by going to the gym or hanging out in a gay bar and finding relaxed conversations with other guys. They take time to open up, but your patience will be worth it in the end.